Today is my first day of being a blogger. That being said, my apologies to anyone I might irritate or otherwise offend as I am new at this. My purpose is to tell my story, give ideas and support other women who are going through the process of being diagnosed with breast cancer. My name is Maggie, I am 54 years old, and a LPN. I will not tell you what city or state that I live in because I do not want you to be fearful or have mistrust in the wonderful medical staff that is in your community. To make myself perfectly clear I am not now or ever going to give you any sort of medical advise. Medical advise needs to be tailored to your specific diagnoses by your medical team. The only reason I am even letting you know that I am a nurse is because if all the problems can happen to an experienced nurse, I can only imagine what can go wrong with someone who has no knowledge of the process. So here we go!
In the first week of December 2012, I went down to my clinic and had my yearly mammogram. I was diagnosed with fibrocystic breast disease back in 1984 so I have been following up with mammograms as recommended by my doctors over the years. Every year I would get a little note from the radiologists saying everything was all good and see you next year, this year it was different. A week had come and gone, really I had not even given it much thought as I never did find it to be a particularly painful procedure, uncomfortable yes. So at 0930 on December 13th, I got the call. Hi Maggie this is (the clinic) we found an area of suspicion in your left breast, honestly all I heard during the rest of the conversation was blah blah blah. I did however write down the day and time of when they wanted me back for a repeat mammogram and an ultra sound. It was in 2 weeks, wow that is a long time to wait. So there was that nagging little thought in the back of my mind all through Christmas.
On the day of the repeat mammogram, I arrived at the clinic and sat in the waiting room continuing to think that this is just a shadow or a little cyst. A cute young technician came and got me and led me back to the room. After she got my breast positioned, I think that her hand slipped as the compression slammed into my breast and actually grabbed a rib, she quickly rescued me from the grip of this monster and repositioned me. Yes the area was still visible. Off to ultrasound we went, the area was clearly defined on the screen. The technician went and brought the radiologists back and he did more with the ultrasound. When he was done I covered my now really sore breast and sat up. He said that he did not think that it was anything but he felt that we should cover all the bases and get an MRI of both breasts. I was carefully listening to not only what he said but how he said it. He sure sounded scripted to me. My regular doctors office would need to get authorizations from my insurance for the MRI. The radiologists had a shocked look on his face when I said that I would not be seeing my regular doctor for several weeks. He then said that they would be faxing this over to him today. At this point I started to get a bit concerned.
I waited for a few days and called my insurance company, they had not received a request for the MRI. I called my doctors office and asked them to follow up on this. Apparently the paperwork just ended up back in my chart, no one seemed to know that something needed to be done. Again waited a few days and called my insurance company and again they had not received the request. So I called the doctor back and they had faxed it so now it is floating out there in air, they faxed it again and it was finally approved. So at this point one would think that everything was a set, hmmm not so quick. They were booked and so we had to wait another week. By this point I was already getting irritated. (point: if you need follow up and you do not hear back within a week, be proactive and call them).
The breast MRI is weird, I have had many MRI’s and CT scans over the years, but here is what to expect in a closed MRI. First they will put an IV in so they can inject the contrast later in the procedure. You will lie on your back with headphones on, usually some music to your liking and you will have the first part of the MRI. Then they pull you out and bring in a female to help get you positioned for the next part. Then you will be positioned laying face down with this coiled contraption that is encasing your breasts, then back into the machine you go and at some point the injection is given to you remotely. One nice thing about this clinic, most of the time you will know the results before you leave the clinic. The tech came in and helped me off of the table and took out my IV, at this point the radiologists came in to talk. “Maggie, the MRI shows that you have two lumps”, my heart sank. By this point I was pretty tired of the delays and things just not progressing as I felt that they should be so I went to see my trusted surgeon. He is a very well respected surgeon in the area and delays and mistakes simply do not happen when he is involved.
Surgeon seemed surprised to see me and said “you just cant seem to stay away”. So I told him the whole story and how afraid I was to have any biopsies done because of all the horror stories out there on the internet. I wanted to be asleep and have him perform the biopsies, but as usual I was not going to get my way! Going backwards a bit, I just do not get it…….why in the world would any woman write and post these horror stories on the web. I am a nurse and I was completely terrified by these obvious tall tales, I dont think I slept more than a couple of hours a night for almost a month. I was waking up in panic attacks and hyperventilating. All I have to say to those that post this crap is “shame on you”!
My surgeon called my radiologists and they came up with a plan. One MRI guided biopsy and one ultra sound guided biopsy. There was another delay because the clinic needed to bring in a technician that would be with me during both procedures. More waiting and more frustration. I was mad because if either of these were cancer……..I want them out! January 31st came, I premedicated with xanax so my husband and I took a cab to the clinic. This begins the day from hell.
The tech that was assigned to be with me for the two procedures was very nice and very skilled, she also knew that I was scared to death. The first biopsy was the MRI guided. Another IV was placed and I was positioned up on the table in those coiled contraptions, into the MRI I went. After the views were taken a radiologists came in to the room and I came out of the MRI, I had to lie perfectly still. I felt the needle prick my skin with the Lidocaine (numbing medication) it does sting quite a bit. He then advanced the needle towards the lump using the Lidocaine as he went, he told he to tell him if I needed more and I did a couple of times. Then back into the MRI to check for placement of the needle (they need to verify that they are in the right area), then back out to reposition, then back in to verify and then back out to take the sample. If you ever have played the game PacMan, it feels like there was something munching on my breast……….not really painful because of the Lidocaine but more a creepy feeling. He was done in just a few minutes then off the table. They had put the instruments away because I am said that I did not want to see them. So that was done, if I ever have to do this again, I would do it without the xanax so that way I would not have to pay the taxi $35.00.
Then I got a little break and sat in the waiting room with my husband and had some soup and crackers. Then we were ready for the ultrasound guided biopsy. It was pretty much the same thing but instead being on my back with pillows and not in a machine. The skin prick, the stinging and the munching but this time they were also using vacuum assist to get as much of it as possible. In both biopsies they place a tiny maker so that way in further studies they will know that particular lump has already been biopsied. The final procedure of the day was coming, a light compression mammogram to verify clip placement and then I was to get to go home. The tech left the room and came back a few minutes later and said that the radiologists wants to talk to me. Somehow the original lump from back in the beginning of December was still there and it had not been biopsied. The apologies were plentiful, they did not know how the MRI’s missed that lump. The only way to get to that particular lump was by stereotactic biopsy. A stereotactic biopsy should always be first as you are in about 50% compression with mammogram for about 40 minutes. They were worried about bleeding and injury to breast tissue since I already had the other biopsies. I was very specific that if they wanted it, then it would have to be that day..I was not coming back.
Actually I do not remember most of that procedure as I was so stressed out. I remember being face down on a table with my left breast hanging down through a hole in the table. I felt more like a cow than a human and also felt that there has got to be a better way. If men had to have this procedure done on a frequent basis, I am sure that they would find a better way. So we got through that and had another mammogram again to check to clip placement and I was free to go. I had been there for almost 9 hours, we were the last to leave and even most of the staff was gone for the day. One of my dear friends came by to see how I was doing and she stuck around to take us back home. Thank you dear friend! I had a marathon that day and I take prescription pain medication for a chronic condition. When I read the post procedure instructions it said to take Tylenol for any discomfort. That is a bunch of crap! If I had not had my prescription at home then I would have ended up in the emergency room. My breast turned every color of black and blue and red and purple and the bruising did not completely resolve for 6 weeks. If you are going to have more than one biopsy in a day I strongly suggest that you ask your doctor for a little pain medication for the first 48-72 hours,
My surgeon wanted to see me back 4-5 business days after the procedure and I explained to him what had happened and why now there are 3 reports. He said that I was fine, these are fibroid and my chance of getting cancer does not increase because of theses fibroid. (fibroid almost never become cancerous). He patted me on the back and sent me down the road. When I left there I felt that the whole story was not done and I felt that there was something wrong. I thought about it for a few days and then printed out a clip from the Mayo Clinic website where it said that if a radiologists uses the terminology “suggestive for carcinoma” then pathology should be set aside and further investigation is warranted. I attached that article to a little note and delivered it to his office on Valentines Day. All I asked for was for him to have a conversation with the radiologists, just to be sure. He did and then I was called by his nurse and was told that I have another appointment with him. He scheduled me for an excisional biopsy (that is a lumpectomy and takes a portion of all surrounding tissue but you do not go home with drains in place) for the following Wednesday.
Now the games begin. First I have to go the radiologists and have what is called wire localization done and then go to the hospital for an 11am surgery time. Well that morning it was snowing like crazy and another really good friend came and took me to get that done. She is also a nurse and thought that this was just crazy! So we get to the radiologists, have the mammogram and then into a very similar contraption to the stereotactic machine except this time I am sitting in a chair. So I am in position and the radiologists starts numbing the area so he can thread a guide wire down to the lump to make it easier for the surgeon to find the lump. Suddenly he stopped, he RAN OUT OF WIRE! seriously how does that even happen! So he had to start over and go from a different direction. My friend that was with me said later that he was standing out of my eyeshot and was pretend banging his head on the wall. So this all got done about 1025 and we had 10 miles to travel in the snow and traffic, but we made it. I must say however that my pre-op was a bit rushed.
So surgery was over, almost 5 hours later still in recovery because of vomiting and pain. My friend who had met me at the clinic back in January came and sat with me. Other people vomiting does not bother her in the least and I was retching up some pretty nasty green bile. She said that it was amazing that once the staff at the hospital stopped doing what they were doing and let me tell them what works, things got better very quickly. I am had about a dozen major surgeries over the years, so I know what does and does not work. My surgeon really thought that this was an unnecessay surgery and did not take any lymph nodes. I went to his office the following Monday and he confirmed that I do have invasive ductal carcinoma. So to all that read this little bizarre story, please tell every woman that you love and even every woman that you hate………do not settle for answers that do not make sense to you. Push the medical community for answers. Had I not pushed and annoyed many of the local medical professionals my outcome would be very different. Right now I have Stage 1 a small well behaved cancer, if this had just been set aside and nothing further done after the initial biopsy by next December we would be looking at either a stage 3 or 4 and my prognosis would be much different. My staging was completed yesterday I am T2, N0, M0. We can only assume that there is no lymph node involvement because no nodes were taken and I do not think that knowing that little bit of information would make a difference in my treatment. My oncologist was happy to hear that I made the decision to not have a mastectomy after I spoke just one more time with the radiologists.
I will continue to blog through out my treatment. Just getting things written down sometimes helps to clear the mind. I would be happy to answer any questions and happy to see your comments.